harsshh

its__delicate @ 2006-01-09T19:47:00

2006-01-10T00:47:56Z

if you are looking for me

http://www.livejournal.com/users/___jennnifer/

its__delicate @ 2005-12-24T13:57:00

2005-12-24T19:02:28Z

El and I were talking about it yesterday, how weird it is that last year all durning winter we went to hardcore show after hardcore show. I miss it.

Oh, and I'm really mad how everyone gets so selfish around christmas. Or they start claiming that christmas blows because they dont get any gifts. I used to be like that, but whatever. It's not all about getting gifts, so stop being little bitches.

its__delicate @ 2005-12-24T09:03:00

2005-12-24T14:14:38Z

Last night was so much fun. Ellen picked me up and we went back to her house then Target. We saw Rob, Lee, and Zack there, oh and El had curlers in her hair so she was stylish. We went back to my house to get ready. People started coming. Craig, Steve, and Andrew were first. They all had their christmas sweaters on with snowmen, and were talking in Italian Accents, and of course their mob names. Sammy the Bull came (Robberrtt)with Lee (i forget his name) and Zack. Then more and more people started coming. There was so many kids, and we did toasts to Eric, Sam the bull gave a speech. I apparently drank to much, So Rob was making sure I wasnt getting out of hand. But I told him he was the reason I drink. Kristen showed up, I love her. Then we all ran outside (all like 80 of us) and went to a couple of houses caroling. We came back here and "mingled", and watched home alone. I was so tired by the end of it. Everyone left except Eric, Craig, Steve, Andrew, Paul, Grant, Noah, and Ellen. We went downstairs and watched homealone too. We all fell asleep, cuddling with eachother, and would wake up and a random person would be missing. Apparently only Grant, ELlen and Craig stayed. I spent the night on the couch upstairs, and everyone else was downstairs. I woke up around 8, and Ellen and Craig were leaving. The party was so much fun. I love those kids.
Tonight is christmas eve. We are going to go to church and then Chinese like we do every year. It's going to be wierd not having Zach come over christmas morning , but he is away. Christmas is actually going to be real wierd. Not going to connecticut and all. I dont know. Merry Christmas live journal friends.

its__delicate @ 2005-12-22T20:11:00

2005-12-23T01:25:51Z

Today was fun. After school I went out with Lee. We faught over the tempature in the car, and padiddles. We went to target, walmart, and american eagle. We basically faught, and hit eachother a lot, and screamed dirty things while everyone stared. Then we went to the hotdog shop and spent the last of our money, all 3 dollars and 6 cents. We went home and wrapped the presents and talked to the big man. He left and now I'm just hanging out. Tomorrow is the big party. I'm excited, but Marie Alice is leaving for somewhere. I dont know, I'll miss her this break.

its__delicate @ 2005-12-20T21:49:00

2005-12-21T02:58:00Z

Today Cameron gave me heart shaped pancakes with sprinkles and chocolate kisses. I love him times 10.

I missed the bus, and went on "Daves" bus to Chelsea's house. She has the cutest little puppy named Bella. I played with her and she bit my lip and made me bleed, but shes so cute. Ricky came and got me, and then I came home and did my homework, and started making Marie a present dealing with porn. It's pretty sweet.
Eric is having a christmas/birthday party on Friday. I'm excited. Everyone has to wear sweaters and dresses and christmas clothes, drink sparkling cider, eggnog, fruit and cheese, and listen to the fire. So target commerical, its classy. I can not believe Ric is going to be 18 on friday. I have not gotten/made anything for him yet. Hopefully my Mom will take me to walmart tomorrow so I can get something cheap to make him, and get what I need for Robs present. Rob's present is so bad ass it scares me. I just relised how late it is. I have so much to do still, so I'm going to stop this insane journal.

its__delicate @ 2005-12-17T22:11:00

2005-12-18T03:34:58Z

So this week has been hard. Wednesday morning before we left I got real sick, they drugged me up and stuck me in the back of the car. Only Eric and my dad and I went to Connecticut. We stopped by my Uncles house and I played with Bella and Lexi. Bella is 3, and Lexi is 5, and they are my cousin's daughters. We went to Eraines and went to sleep, Thursday I sat around with Eraine and watched bad soaps all day. I found myself loving them. We went to dinner with them too, and they made fun of me for talking about Africa. Thursday was real ruff. I went down to the Hamden hospital to see my Gram. On the way we counted 15 nail places on the same street for 2 miles, honest. My gram depressed me. She whimperd, "I cant stand you have these bad memories of me." I'm so sad that my gram couldnt go to the funeral, because she has MS. My grandparents love story is one for the movies. It was so special and unheard of, and the fact that they couldnt be together in the last 2 months of his life is killing me. After we left the the Hamden Hood, we went to my Uncle Pauls, and then to my Pop's wake. I couldnt even go close to his casket I was crying so bad. Seeing my dad and uncle fall apart made me lose it. But it was nice seeing everyone, and talking to my cousins. AND I met the xwife of my father. It freaked us all out, and stirred up many funny conversations between everyone. We went back to my uncles, ate pizza, went home and slept. And this morning was the Funeral. Another hard day. My dad spoke, and made us all cry our hearts out, and if Lexi, Bella, and Jace weren't there to distract us we all would have fallen apart. After that we went back to my uncles (I guess thats the hot spot) and all talked and laughed, looked at pictures, and played with the babies. I am so sad I cant be by my family all the time. Seeing them twice a year is not enough. I relised after they were all talking about their childhood that I couldnt tell my family stories like that in 30 years. But once again Bella and Lexi were comical relief. (until Bella nearly killed me when she kicked my eye) After that My Uncle Jim took us back to his place, and we played with the dogs, then he took us to Kong. Which was real good, but these girls were crying after the movie let out, and we couldnt stop laughing. We went to a bar and there was horrid drunken singing involved. Now I'm back here and leaving tomorrow morning. I'm going to bed. Sorry, this is a pointless entry.

its__delicate @ 2005-12-12T19:34:00

2005-12-13T00:34:22Z

I slept in my parents bed. Eric woke me up at 9:30, we went to the mall around 12. I saw Mrs. Berry, which was nice, I missed her. I went around trying to find funneral clothes. I only got one days worth of clothes. It was really depressing, old men made me cry. My parents came home around 6:30 with Dave. He is really banged up. My mom and Dave cant go to the funneral because of how bad he's hurt. Eric, my dad and I leave on Wednesday for Connecticut. I dont know what to expect or anything. I'm just happy I'll get to see some of my family. The sad thing is, is that my grandma couldnt even be with my grandfather this past, 2 months or so. Because she has been in and out of the hospital, and shipped to random homes. She cant go to his funneral or anything. I think that is what is upsetting my family the most.

Ha! that was forever ago! Last time I saw him he had a mohawk. But that is my poppie. He was the craziest, funniest man I knew. And could sing like no other. He always told dirty jokes, and made me laugh. I'll miss him.

its__delicate @ 2005-12-11T21:00:00

2005-12-12T02:00:19Z

to make matters worse, my grandpa just passed away tonight.

its__delicate @ 2005-12-11T19:08:00

2005-12-12T00:08:55Z

I get in my car to go home from the lock in, after 20 minutes of sleep. I have no voice and my father starts explaining to me that my brother called at 4 in the morning saying he was on his way home, and how he never showed up. I thought nothing of it, cause Dave is the shaddy one. I get into my bed at 7, trying to get 2 hours of sleep before I have to babysit, and the phone rings. My mom comes running into my room. "Dave got hit by a car, he is in intensive care at a small ohio hospital, set your alarm so you can go babysitting, I'll call you when I know more." I didnt process it until I woke up two hours later, I thought it was a dream. Eric came in and told me the same story. I freaked. I went and babysat, tried to sleep, tried to not strangle the kids. My dad calls me and tells me how badly hurt my brother was. I came home and he was there, getting stuff, because my parents are spending a few days in ohio. He told me the story

Dave was high and drunk, and thought it was ok to drive home. It was snowing, and his truck doesnt handle snow well. The cluch broke, he was on a highway, he got out, an 18 wheeler was coming at him, he moved out of the way and got hit by another car. Hes in intensive care, his spline is messed up, something is the matter with his head, which I forget. His shoudlers, arms, and legs are all swollen and cut up. His face is distorted. They are doing xrays right now, to figure out what else is wrong, since its a small hosptial there arnt that many doctors there on a sunday morning, so no one is really telling whats wrong.

Yeah, thats my story.

every superhero needs a theme song

2005-12-09T23:59:19Z

Last night they said we most likely wouldnt have school, so I slept over Chelsea's. It was fun. I just watched T.v, and Morgan was on the phone with Chelsea, so they conspired to get me out of the house and lock it. That wasnt fun. We went to bed, I had some wierd dreams, and woke up and went to school. There was just a two hour delay. We got there late, the announcements were all messed up, and Lauren and I got made fun of all day because of them. John Norton and I danced to Techno in Art, and sang Fall out boy with Jake Roach. After school Lee called me. He came over with Saber and her sister. It was fun, we played in the snow, went sledding, and played with a random dog. I'm so sore from Lee tackling me in the snow. Then we went inside and I cooked hotchocolate and spahjenny. Lee and I faught, and hit eachother. He bit and punched my chin, so its brusing. He also left his phone here so I'm expecting him to come get it sometime tonight. I also have to babysit. Tomorrow is going to be busy. I am going to see Narina with Marie and my church. Then we are going to set up for the highschool winter dance. Then the dance, the lock in for student council, and then I have to babysit that morning from 11 until 5ish. Then of course I'm going to 220 youth group. Oh well.

its__delicate @ 2005-11-28T20:14:00

2005-11-29T01:14:40Z

Trevor tagged me I suppose. I'll do it.

List the top 10 things that make you happy right now, and tag 5 people to do the same.
1. Jesus
2. My best friends
3. My art classes
4. My fabric box
5. My family
6. Books
7. The fact that I am most likely going to Africa this summer
8. Movies
9. Music
10. Steel City in like, 3 weeks!
TAG.
1. julia
2. lena
3. kat
4. tersea
5. casey

its__delicate @ 2005-11-22T22:06:00

2005-11-23T03:10:24Z

Tomorrow I have to watch a movie pds. 1-3. Then I go to art class, and half of sewing, and my mother is picking me up. From there I get to watch tv and chill at my house until 3, when we will leave for Connecticut. I'm trying to convince my mother to let us have a "kids car" where only Eric, Dave, and I are allowed. I dont know though, but that would be sweet. I am basically going to be going from hospital to hospital visiting my grammy and poppie, and basically saying goodbye to them, forever. Its going to be so depressing.
I will be there until sunday night. Kristen Dafner better not make plans for monday, because I want to hang out with her.

you are my king

2005-11-17T00:32:34Z

Ok lets see.
-I cant get into the school computers, because I changed my password to a random harsh word
+A girl got stuck in a locker today
-Jake left for the airforce on monday, and I havnt figured out his address yet
+It was Jay's birthday yesterday, and Baby's on the 8th.
+I went to Heavens gates and Hells Flames last night and hung out with some cool people, oh and Jay came over after school too.
+I got a b on my math quiz
-Rob is sick!
+My mom is working almost everyday, so I get to be alone
+++I am most likely going up to Hudson this weekend, and Cory is coming too, so that means, Laura, Cory, Blake and I, all hanging out
+I love jesus!
-My parents are talking about us getting funeral clothes for my grandparents
-On that note 2/4 of my grandparents are not doing so well
-Going to Connecticut for thanksgiving, so I'll be eatting hospital slop when you all are eatting turkey.
+ But I get to buy a little black dress, from the square
-my Poppie is getting heart surgery on Monday
+I love Lena berry, and Kat.
+I adore art class, I adore the boys in it. I love drawing.

Someone is going to be mad at me I'm not calling him right now. So Im going to go.

its__delicate @ 2005-11-09T20:31:00

2005-11-10T01:33:03Z

all i have been thinking about is crafting lately.
i want to actually sew again, recently, i've just been looking at my fabric.
i want to make things (and I did make a pretty sweet record bowl today)
and I want to start a zine and work on this fashion show some more.
ohh, im full of wants.

its__delicate @ 2005-11-03T18:52:00

2005-11-03T23:54:53Z

Marie and I have been passing interesting notes to one another, about the future of Eopling and Junk. They are filled with pictures, and future upcoming events in the lifes of the to most famous fueding groups.

k, thats all i had to say.

you cant get over him, hes so high

2005-10-30T15:25:13Z

Yesterday two lovely girls came and picked me up and we went to the mall go finish our halloween costumes. Lets just say, we all are the sex when we put on these clothes. I got home at 5, and my mom took me to Maries. Then we went to the school, did the makeup for everyone, and then Marie did mine and curled my hair. Andrew came and got me, and he wouldnt let me wear my cop hat, which was the best hat. Got in, and I was terrified to go downstairs alone, and Meg finally went down with me. Oh Jamie was there, it was nice seeing him, and he was dressed up as a tennis player. It seems like everyone was there. even Tranny Danny. Everyones costumes were funny or cute too. Eric wore my clothes. I got to see everyone I missed. Oh, and I found out Lee has a rat, so I'm pretty much going to take it. We left around 12. Got home and got stupid prank calls and went to bed.
Today I want to go see Chelsea's skit thing at her youthgroup. And I have to clean a bunch.
Oh and I am kind of sad the plays over. No more getting out of class to watch the show.
Lame.

its__delicate @ 2005-10-28T22:20:00

2005-10-29T02:31:29Z

everytime i manage to sleep, i end up having the strangest dreams.

This week went fast. monday and tuesday was dress rehearsals, they went horribly and we had to buy so much new makeup, but the costumes turned out real good I would say. Wednsday was the senior citizen play, and that was fun. Thursday was the play durning the day, and one at night. Marie came over after school, and we watched "scary" shows and went back to school. The play is so funny watching it over and over again, and laughing when the actors get their lines wrong, but only Marie and I notice, because we have sat through it 500 times. Today was another play durning the day, and then tomorrow night is our last performance. Today was the best show, not that I watched it today, just the fact that we were all backstage talking about how we are going to pull off doing Bye Bye Birdie this spring. Marie and I will do costumes and props for that one, which will be a fun show, because its set in the 50s.
Tomorrow I'm set on spending my day with spahillary. Shes so cute, and we need to get costumes for the party tomorrow night, which im so pumped about to see my lovelys. Im being a cop.

Happy birthday Meg, Lee, and Rob

its__delicate @ 2005-10-23T10:26:00

2005-10-23T14:36:54Z

Yesterday was nothing short of amazing. Aound 9:30 I went and picked up Marie and then we went and met Mr. Soxman at the school, and he drove us to the strip to go down to costume world, for the play. Then we went to the southside, got lunch at pamanties, or however you spell it. We ran around trying to find certain things, and went into so many stores. Marie was looking at wedding dresses for some reason and this man in salvation army said to Soxman.."Are you the lucky man?" He responded no, and we all laughed, but another man said.."You may be laughing now..but deep down hes crying! you crushed him!" We were laughing so hard we had to leave. We then went to mcknight, and when we couldnt find anything there we ran over to the mall. Oh the mall, everyone seemed to be at the mall, and saw us walking with our teacher. So we ran away from him and wed glace back every 2 minutes and be like, "hey soxman! what are you doing here?!!" and hed be like, shopping for a red dress for my wife! and wed laugh and proceeded to walk through the mall. He took us both home, and then I worked on Jakes hat and Eric took me to Lenas. Kristen came, and we had so much fun just catching up with her. I finished Jakes hat and apron, and we went downstairs to watch Scariest Places on Earth. We tied Natalie up, and made her cry many times, and then kicked her out cause the boys came at 9ish.
Lets just say, me and lena, have the cutttestt boyfriends. Not only did they cook and buy us steak, pasta, beans, salad, pototoes, and cheesecake, but they also got Lena Kristen and I flowers. Well we all died, because it was adorable. And we watched Jake cook in the basement. The food was so good by the way. Then we all watched Daddy Day Care and Jake and I faught with eachother and the pillows because we couldnt get confortable. OH and Jason and Lena wouldnt stop talking.
They left around 12. We talked and cleaned up. When to bed around 2.
I just woke up and if andrew calls me back I will go to breakfast with him.

I decided I dont want my boyfriend to leave for the airforce, and im really upset about it. Ok. ok.

its__delicate @ 2005-10-20T07:59:00

2005-10-20T12:09:57Z

DONT SPIT ON ME, YOU MIGHT MESS UP MY SCENE HAIR, YOU KNOW.
BECAUSE I CARE SO MUCH. CAUSE YOU KNOW I MIGHT GO DOWN TO THE OFFICE AND HAVE YOU SEARCHED AGAIN!

its__delicate @ 2005-10-16T18:39:00

2005-10-16T22:47:51Z

my face is tired from crying/trying to hold back tears.

worse weekend i have had, possibly ever. i'm sick of the rumors and people asking me/talking to me about it. im sick of my parents drilling me every 2 seconds, and im sick of them making me read articles on what i did and how it could screw me up. im sick of them asking "what can we do to fix this". im sick of everyone. im sick of crying, i just want to sleep.
i dont want anyone to talk to me, and i dont want to talk to anyone.
if friday never happend, my weekend would have been great. i slept over lenas after my game with jay, then i went thrifting with marie, then i went with jay. then we went to church with lena jay addie and my parents. we went to frightnight and saw some people and hung out. then jay slept over, and i went to a beautiful service and cried half the time. it was like god told the paster what to say today. he said what i was needing to hear more then anything. thats why i cried. it hit me so hard.
i went home in a bad mood though, because i wanted to be left alone with my thoughts and everywhere i went i got drilled. i sewed quitely, and painted. then went to field hockey and had the worst mirgrane. i didnt talk to anyone. this whole entry is about me wanting the world to be silent for once. but now i have to go babysit.
innocent children.
I shouldnt be trusted with kids at the moment.

i think the worst part about this whole thing, and he doesnt know it, is that i feel horrid for hurting and letting down my family, but mainly my brother. i cant believe myself. i wouldnt care if i got hurt, just them. i dont want them to hurt anymore. i want my family to be ok again.

its__delicate @ 2005-10-11T08:11:00

2005-10-11T12:15:48Z

Ok, its over. I'm done doing stupid shit. Im done with what i have been up to for the past month or whatever. So please dont start a conversation with me about it, expressing your concern. It means a lot to me that a lot of people care, but I dont want to hear it anymore. I decided I'm done with everything. and i'm sick of worrying myself and others. I dont want to get in trouble with anything anymore. I have been a huge idiot lately, and ruined a lot of things. a lot of friend ships, respect and trust ect. ect. ect.

hilary, i miss you. and we need to hang out soon.

its__delicate @ 2005-10-09T17:22:00

2005-10-09T21:23:06Z

Today I baught bright red lipstick, and bright red nail polish, and a curling iron and straight-er all in one. It is very exciting.

hmm

2005-10-09T15:37:01Z

So yesterday was homecoming, except I didnt go. I got in trouble with my mother, and she decided as a punishment I wasnt allowed to go. Because she said if I got in trouble one more time before homecoming, no homecoming for me. What ever. I cried a lot, and was really upset, but I'm over it now. Its just going to suck hearing everyone talk about it for the next week of school, and I'm sad I couldnt wear my dress.
So yesterday instead of going out I watched movies and t.v all day. I watched Doctor Zhivago, which is a 4 hour movie. It was really good. The woman in it was stunning. I couldnt get over it.

so uh, this class is pretty boring.

2005-10-03T23:41:37Z

Today was really fun. After school Marie and I went down to Pitt, and while her mom was in a class, we snuck into this films class, and watched a japenese movie. We met a boy, his name is Trenton, and I'm dating him. Hes real cute. He asked me to go to coffee, but we had to leave. Then Mrs. M took us to Red White and Blue, and we got a lot of stuff for the play. I also got a dress with bright sequins all over it, kind of like the girl from Rocky Horror Picture show. I want to wear it to morp. A strange man came up to me and said, "Are those jeans size 3?" I said no. "Are those jeans size 5?" I said no, and then he looked upset and continued to shop for little girls clothing. We met all sorts of odd people. Then we went to ENP. Mrs. M left us, so Marie and I talked about random things. She came and got us and took me home. It was so much fun.

its__delicate @ 2005-09-29T16:41:00

2005-09-29T20:50:27Z

Today I got sick. I got real sick infact.
It started off fine, my day, you know. But midfirst period I became ghost white, I started shaking and sweating, and Lauren and Marie yelled at me and told Mr. Soxman I was dieing, because otherwise I would have been to stubborn and layed on the floor and died. I couldnt take the nurses office though, I was terribly scared to stay in there, but I fell asleep and woke up at the end of 2nd and found it terribly hard to move. I had no control over my body, I was shaking, my mouth would open again as soon as I tried to close it, and it took me forever to move my whole body. The nurse couldnt get ahold of my parents. I left the nurse mid 3rd. Sat in history while they played a game and talked to Emma. 4th pd, I sat at the art table, complaing to Jake and John. We finished our assignment of the day, and I ran over to Mr. D, "Can I go to the nurse?" "Yeah let me write you a pass." To late, I upchucked in his trashcan. I began to cry. He and I carried the trashcan back to the nurse, I was bawling my eyes out, and told her I wanted to go home. She sat me down, called my house, and told me 15 more minutes. I got all my stuff and sat there, until my mom came. I slept in the car. I slept as soon as I got home. I woke up around 4:30. I had the wierdest dreams ever. My head is bounding.